Medical Leave is Here

I remember thinking 2 weeks ago when I got my surgery date that it would suck if I caught a cold. Then immediately told myself I was being silly. Everything would be fine.

But here I am with a stupid cold!

So medical leave started early. After 2 days of 12+ hours I just couldn't continue to push it. I figure 4 days to be home and rest should be enough to recover and be perfectly healthy for Monday's surgery.

Thank god I have the best job, boss and employees in the world. Last night at the board meeting as my voice continued to get weaker and weaker, our board president herself told me I should go home and rest until Monday.

I know I do a lot for my organization and I ask a lot of my employees but it is so nice to know that we have the ability to be accommodating when someone's life calls for it.

(Even when not everyone sees or appreciates it)

So now I am home and as you can see, relaxing is not my strong suit. I do many things very well but taking care of myself is not one of them. I think I'm always over-compensating for my real or perceived flaws. Always hearing that tiny voice in the back of my head that tells me I'm not doing enough, working hard enough, being nice enough.

In my mind, I know it's mostly rubbish but it doesn't stop me from working 12 hour days, checking email at midnight and feeling like I'm letting someone down if I don't.

When I think about Monday, I hope part of a new phase of my life where I get to be important to me. I'm not talking about being selfish (even the workaholic is selfish!), but allowing myself to take the time to do what I need to do to be healthy whether that's finding time for an exercise class or saying no to one meeting a month do I can do something for me.

As cliched as it sounds I can't help but feel like Monday has to be the start of a new lifecycle. I just hope I'm up for the challenge.